I am a Christian. This means I have developed and am working on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe in the word of GOD. I believe Romans 10:9 that tells me I am saved if I confess and believe that Jesus is Lord. I believe in the birth of Christ. I believe in his ministry, his truth. I believe he was put to death and I believe in his RESURRECTION! April 20, 2014 was the day that hundreds of people celebrated the most quintessential mark in history. It is the day that Christians were freed from their sins. For the politically correct, it was a day of Easter bunnies, baskets, and egg hunts; and for the church goer, it was the day to wear a brand new outfit and visit that place that is only meant for that occasion.
My pastor dad preached a message yesterday based on the empty tomb Jesus was buried in. He spoke on the women who went out early in the morning to anoint the body of Christ. They discussed the heavy stone that blocked anyone from entering the tomb and wondered ‘who would roll it away’. He shared the encounter they had with the angel who asked one of the most profound questions established amongst mankind. ‘Why do ye seek the living amongst the dead?’ It was a message of hope and rebirth and overcoming obstacles with the reassurance that GOD’S son would always be there to lead and guide us.
After such an amazing experience, I saw this same point of view in other media outlets and sources. It was, after all, the quintessential mark in history. This led me to think 2 very important things:
1. What are my stones?
2. Am I looking for GOD in a dead place?
The first question isn’t difficult to answer. At the present time, there is one stone I am facing that is blocking my path to peace. I am unable to have children. After a devastating miscarriage last year, I was in desperate search of answers and understanding. There have been a lot of tears shed, bouts with depression, anger, confusion, and a gang of other emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. At the start of the year, I was determined to find out what was going on within my body and find out why I was unhealthy for children. I began my search. Each visit to my endocrinologist (I am a type 2 diabetic) brought me possible answers but they were inconclusive. Each visit took me back to square one. I was exhausted, I was sad, I was frustrated. GOD told me to keep going. When I would cry to my husband about my lack in understanding this situation, GOD told me to keep going, and it was here that he told me that all the things I suffered were connected. The diabetes, the rapid weight gain and consistent size, the inability to lose weight and most importantly, my inability to carry a baby to term. I knew I had to keep going. I wanted a solution. I needed one. There was something off track inside my body and I wanted to correct whatever was wrong. This was about me. Or so, I thought.
This Easter holiday gave me a new perspective. (I love how GOD only gives me glimpses of my answers. I know it is to be sure that when all is said and done He gets the COMPLETE honour and glory.) I listened to the story of Christ’s final moments and I linked that to my situation. When he went into the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed to GOD about his fears of enduring the cross. At one point he even asks GOD to take it away. This shows his humanity. We all have things that we have to go through but if given the choice would go another way. That is what this situation was for me. I didn’t want to go through this. I wanted to keep my baby. I didn’t want diabetes or any of the other issues, but Jesus concludes his prayer by telling GOD that it wasn’t about his wants or desires it was about the will of his father, and while he was yet going through this difficult ordeal, he stayed obedient to GOD. This showed me that this situation is the road I am travelling. No, I don’t wish to be here but, GOD has a purpose for me in this. Part of the purpose is to help others. I am going through this as an act of surrender and obedience to GOD. And even though there are moments when I feel dead or numb or sad or frustrated, I will keep pushing forward because my SUNDAY MORNING is on its way. I won’t wallow in sadness. That is a dead place. I won’t wallow in anger or bitterness- those are dead places. Depression- dead place. Hatred- dead place. These are not places where GOD resides. I will seek him in those places that are his. Praise, worship, humility, kindness. These are the places that GOD resides. In my weak moments, I will find comfort in knowing that he will be with me. He has already set my course. He knows the end result. And I should be so honoured that He chose me to carry out this task because this means He will supply all of my needs. It isn’t for me to know how things are going to work out, but it is for me to trust that GOD has already worked it out and everything happens on his time and not a moment sooner.
So on this RESURRECTION MONDAY, I’m taking action and so should you. We’ve been given a fresh start, a new perspective. I have been given the opportunity to share this once private moment with you all in hopes that it will brighten someone’s day and give reassurance to someone going through a similar situation. GOD knows exactly where you are, and even though it hurts sometimes, he hasn’t left you and He will see you through until the end. Cry if you have to cry. Whatever your stone is just know that by the time you begin trying to figure out how to roll it away, GOD will have already moved it and raised your situation from the dead!
Wishing you and yours a fantastic RESURRECTION MONDAY!